Anatomy of a Bad Song v. 1 [Featured Artiste: IBK Spaceship Boy]
Labels:
Anatomy Series,
IBK Spaceship Boy,
Music
Whoa! Christmas must have come early for Relentless this year. The lovely Toinlicious just gave me the "Versatile Blog" award. To say I am ecstatic would be an understatement. Baba God you too much! Thank you so much Toinlicious. I am deeply grateful, and I shall address the award in the next post *bows and curtsies*
Now, to the business of the day.
Whenever I listen to a song, there are certain elements that
just irritate me, to say the least.
Hence, I am starting this “Anatomy Series.” It is an open list of
elements that make me want to scream (or itch or pull out my hair, strand by
strand … or all of the above) when I see or hear one or more of them in a song. Since it is an open list, it means I will add
more “offending” elements as I discover them.
And this one is “v. 1” for “Version 1” because I decided to do copy-copy
and copy the style of those software updates.
If you happen to be a musician / an artiste and have ALL these elements
in your song …. I will give you a nice present: 20 strokes of the cane (insert sound
of koboko being fired up here).
Seriously though, these are just my own ideas. Feel free to share yours (or disagree with
mine). So, here we go.
Gross misuse of Auto-tune: Yes, I know that when you discovered auto-tune you thought you were in heaven, and then you decided to go crazy with it. BAD MOVE! Auto-tune is a tool, and it is useful when it is used correctly. But misusing it is the main problem here. Too many times, I have heard a song that starts out with auto-tune from beginning to end and it is just plain annoying. Lord help us if the song is dubbed a “remix” of another song. Father in heaven! That word “remix” is like the singular, most popular excuse to go nuclear with auto-tune. When it is misused like that, it makes me think the artiste is just vocally lazy or just lazy…period! So, here is a word of advice to artistes who overuse auto-tune on ALL their tracks: REPENT! It makes you come across as just lacking in creativity (or ideas) and can be very distracting. In fact, it can be so distracting that it could take TEN (10) well-dressed gentlemen to tie me down and keep me from running out of the room (Well, they don’t need to tie me down. I will just sit there and behave myself ….. if they smile or wave at me *mischievous grin* And just in case you were wondering why they would be TEN … well, no particular reason … let’s just say there will 5 on the left and 5 on the right … Okay, that’s enough mischief for one paragraph). Auto-tune is like a spice to me, meaning that you can use it here and there to add flavor to your song, but when you are heavy-handed with it, it makes the “meal” unpalatable. Okay, enough with the food metaphors. P.S. If you don’t know what auto-tune is, Google is your friend (shines teeth).
At this point, you might be thinking to yourself: Come on
Sharrap dia, Relentless, abi na which yeye name you dey call yourself! You
wouldn't know a good song if it walked up to you, dressed in a 3-piece suit,
shook your hands and breathed (not just "said"): "Hi. My
name is Good Song, but my friends call me "Fave" for short." *crickets
chirping*, 2 frogs croak and decide against singing a duet, after taking a long
look at my face. But just hang in there and let’s go to offence number 2.
Copying and Pasting a Popular Praise and Worship song: I call this “copying and pasting” because
here is what happens. Sister Favour
and/or Brother Victor (I decided against using Brother “John” and Sister “Mary”
… LOL!) lead praise and worship on Sunday mornings in church. Brother Paul (who did not have the “Damascus
experience”, i.e. encounter Jesus on the way to Damascus) comes and decides
that he wants to release an album. He
chooses 10 popular praise and worship songs, which Sister Favour and Brother
Victor have sung on Sunday (and in fact, sing every Sunday … and Wednesday …. And
every other day there is a church activity).
BUT (and this is the big ‘BUT’) Brother Paul does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to
change the songs. He literally sings it
the same way Brother Victor and Sister Favour sang it on Sunday, with NO
VARIATION at all. And that is not the
worst part. The worst part is that
Brother Paul expects me (and other music lovers) to pay money for his CD. Now, why would I want to do that?
You cannot
just say that because it is music for worshipping God, and most of the folks in
your "supporters club" are christians
anyway, therefore, we should all automatically patronize your song and/or album.
If you sing praise and worship songs in your room before God, that’s fine. It is between you and God. But if you want me to pay money for your CD,
then Brother Paul, you have to present something I have not heard before or at
least sing the songs in a different way (different beat, different arrangement …
something …..). In other words, that CD
has to add value to my life, one way or the other, and in my opinion, copying
and pasting ain’t gonna cut it. It is
even worse when Brother Paul cannot even sing … chei! Bros, you no even try at
all (smh). You then add that “God will bless me” for buying it. Really, Brother John?
Really?! (*beside myself with rage*). This irritates me to no end. Look, Mediocrity
is mediocrity regardless of how you wrap it up.
To all the Brother Pauls out there, please step up your game.
Over-kill with beats at the intro: Now, this one might be just peculiar to me, but
I find it pretty annoying when songs start out with a lot of loud beats (loud
as in they sound like school children beating pangolo bournvita). It does not end there. This is usually followed by people yelling
like agberos trying to out-shout each other. Guys (addressing artistes),
I know you don’t think half of your audience is hard at hearing now. Chill out! And guess what they are usually
saying? "It's XYZ on the beats o" OR "Introducing ABC"
*smh* Is this really necessary? I get
that you’re helping out with free ipolowo-oja (advertisements) for whoever “cooked”
the beats, and it might not be the same person throughout the album, but I really
think you can do without it. Or at least, don’t yell so much! *walks off to
drink cold water*
Featured Artiste: IBK
 |
| IBK / ReverbNation |
Artiste’s Stage
Name: IBK (Spaceship Boy)
Artiste’s Real
Name: Ibukun Kevin Emuwawon
State of
Origin: Ondo State
Record Label: Independent
Connect with IBK on: ReverbNation / http://www.reverbnation.com/spaceshipboy,
MySpace / http://www.myspace.com/ibkspaceshipboy, Facebook
/ http://www.facebook.com/martianship,
Twitter / http://twitter.com/#!/spaceshipboi
Featured Song: I have
a dream
I was not too surprised to find out that he was the winner
of Don Jazzy’s Enigma Competition. So, I
am including both the original version of “I have a dream” as well as the remix
/ entry for the competition. I love both
versions. I don’t think I can get tired
of listening to them. Enjoy!
